January 2019 Birchbox Review

Birchbox is a subscription service that provides members with 5 sample sized beauty, makeup or hair care items for $10 a month right to your front door. Now, unfortunately it looks like the price will be going up to $13 a month (there damn well better be an improvement for that price point) but you can lock in a year for $110 if you subscribe before 24 Mar 2019.

I'm sorry to start this out with complaints but that's all I have for January. January's box was cute, the contents inside were less than exciting. Two items were repeats, neither of which thrilled me, one was a perfume sample, and one was so small it was useless:

• Sand & Sky Australian Pink Clay Porefining Face Mask
• Stila Huge Extreme Lash Mascara
• Lavanilla The Healthy Fragrance Pure Vanilla Eau de Parfum
• Winky Lux Strobing Balm Cream Highlighter
• Design.ME fab.ME Hair Treatment

Sand & Sky Australian Pink Clay Porefining Face Mask
I've given this face mask plenty of grief in the past almost entirely because of its website. Since then I've seen the brand around everywhere which puts the kibosh on my concerns regarding the ligitimacy of this brand. I've grown used to the tingle on my face whenever I use this mask. There is some clearing of pores but I can't see any brightening effects. I'm mostly in awe of how far this brand's website has come. They have prices in USD, multiple sizes, product details, and a FAQ.

Stila Huge Extreme Lash Mascara
This is not my favorite mascara. It flakes after half a day of use and flakes terribly when I try to remove it. Wearing this mascara is perfect for when I need to get out of an event on account of blindness. My lashes always look clumpy and spider-like when they aren't flaking out into my eyeballs. I cannot decide if I want to give this to somebody at work or hold on to it as an emergency backup.

Lavanilla The Healthy Fragrance Pure Vanilla Eau de Parfum
I'm not a fan of gourmand fragrances. Either that or I'm not a fan of Lavanilla as a brand since this is the second dud product for me. It's not an offensive scent, it just does absolutely nothing for me. This fragrance smells mostly of Madagascar vanilla, tonka bean and goji berry with bottom notes of plum and chamomile. I'm sure it's great for somebody, I'm just not the target audience.

Winky Lux Strobing Balm Cream Highlighter
This is the creamiest (almost oily) cream highlighter I've ever used. It applies a little bit like a liquid but it took off some of my foundation when I tried to dab it on with my finger. The consistency is relatively light but it's just a bit too oily for my already combo-oily cheeks. I can see this working amazingly for someone with dry skin.

Winky Lux highlighter in natural light

Design.ME fab.ME Hair Treatment
Alright, Birchbox. What the actual fuck can I possibly do with 5 mL of hair product? I tried using this on my 4 year old's hair and I only got maybe a third of her hair done. The texture was creamy and on the thicker side for a spray but I can't give any more information than that because I ran out of product by just holding the bottle near my kid's hair, forget spraying. Seriously though, the packaging was just a waste unless it was supposed to be used as a hair perfume or maybe leave-in conditioner for ants.


That was my less than remarkable month of Birchbox in a nutshell. Unfortunately I'm a weak-willed individual and I ended up resubscribing for a year at the $110 rate. I will continue trying to use the Winky Lux highlighter, the Sand & Sky pink clay mask, and the Stila mascara will be saved for future use. I put Lavanilla to use trying to improve the scent of my kids' dollar store glitter hair spray and really, the Design.ME hair spray was just a waste of packaging and time.