Walmart Beauty Kits: A Long Winded Review. a.k.a. “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

Alright kids, this is going to be a doozy, you uh, you might want to grab your coffee for this one. I'm sure I've stated on more than one occasion how much I hate stepping into Walmart. I just don't have the patience anymore for the lines, the crowds, the people asking me how pregnant I am and me being forced to explain I'm not pregnant, it's just baby weight. They don't need to know the baby is 9 months old. And then after such exchanges I just end up wasting a shit load more on apple cider and chocolate or frozen pizza bites as comfort food. Not worth it.

Last weekend though, the planets aligned and suddenly it was worth it. I was skulking through My Subscription Addiction one day and I stumbled across a post announcing Walmart would have beauty boxes. "Oh ha ha, that's great, are these the usually $5 boxes that are mostly foil packets and forgettable?" "No bitch, but that was cute. Remember that money you were promising yourself you wouldn't spend? Mine now. Let's roll." ...And so it goes. There were numerous other kits, these just happen to be the two that caught my attention.

April 2017 Target Beauty Box

Every month Target releases a beauty box full of samples and sometimes full sized beauty products that can be purchased at Target either online or in store. Boxes can range from $5 to $10 and often sell out within a couple of days of release. It's a pretty smart business model that capitalizes on the current subscription box scam craze but I'm still a complete sucker for a practical box with affordable, easily procured items. Target released two boxes this month, the traditional Beauty Box and the Naturals box (both $7 each) and I was just greedy enough to buy both. I’m making two separate posts because otherwise this thing would stretch from here to China and I’m sure as shit not going to take the time to re-read this later on (I’m blogging as a detailed makeup journal to keep track of what worked and what didn’t), nor should I expect anybody else to. This post is about the traditional Beauty Box which is somehow, miraculously still available-sorry for the ultra delayed post.

Shhh... They're sleeping.

• La Roche-Posay Toleriane Purifying Foaming Cleanser - $0.55 (Maybe CF?)
• HASK Argan Oil Repairing Deep Conditioner - $1.77, (Maybe CF?)
• Banana Boat Dry Balance SPF 30 - $1.33
• eb5 Facial Cleanser - $0.44, CF
• Dr. Teals Lavender Foaming Bath - $0.43
• Sally Hansen Double-Duty Base & Top Coat - $4.00
• Rimmel London Colour Precise White Eyeliner - $5.99, CF